CPTnet
10 May 2005
AMMAN LETTER: Facing fear
by Joe Carr
[Note: Joe Carr wrote the following letter to his supporters on 6 May 2005,
the day before he flew from Amman, Jordan to Iraq.]
"If you cling to your life, you will lose it, if you give up your life to
me, you will find it". (Mathew 11:39)
Tomorrow, I take a two hour flight from Amman to Baghdad; from one of the
safest cities in the Middle East, to potentially the most dangerous city in
the world. Needless to say, I am afraid, it is only rational to be so, and
dealing with this fear will be one of the most challenging and fulfilling
experiences of my life.
I've never been one to avoid something simply because it's risky; it is
said that if you go through life trying to avoid death, you'll never really
live. I strive to truly live by making decisions based in love and not fear,
though it is often incredibly difficult.
A year and a half ago, two close family friends taught me that one can die
from cancer or a car accident at any time. I would hate to put my family
through that again, but I've realized what a privilege it is to have a
choice whether or not to face danger. Iraqis wish they could choose whether
or not to live in constant peril; US soldiers face harsh consequences if
they refuse combat; and Palestinians & Israelis would love a life free from
violence, but they have no choice. Black mothers in Southside Chicago wish
they could bring their children out of constant hostility; Mexicans looking
for work to feed their families desire a passage to the US not marred by
deadly risks; and Anishanabe [people] in the Canadian town of Kenora would
love a life free of racist violence, but they have no choice.
In this context, putting my life at risk for the sake of justice ceases to
be a choice, and becomes a responsibility.
The opportunity to be at this historical volatile front of the U.S. Empire
is also a privilege. It's my unearned privilege that allows me to be in the
Christian Peacemaker Teams who provide the funding and support for my
activism. I encourage everyone who has the privilege to choose this work, to
choose to risk your privilege and comfort for the sake of justice; only that
will bring true growth and change.
In addition to all the protests, legislative campaigns, direct actions, and
revolutions you will be organizing in the next thirty days, [you will, I
hope, continue to keep me in] your thoughts and prayers as I use my
privilege, fulfill my responsibility, and face my fear.
In love and solidarity
-joe
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