CPTnet
23 August 2012
AL-KHALIL (HEBRON) REFLECTION: “You are CPT!”

by Inger Styrbjörn

For a moment my heart stopped. An Israeli border police officer stationed near the Ibrahimi Mosque had recognized me, even though I wore neither the vest nor the red cap.

He is often present at the checkpoint where we CPTers observe in the mornings. He once asked one of my colleagues, “Why are you taking photos only when I do bad things? Why not when I’m friendly and shaking hands with people?” He has been at times indifferent, friendly or blunt toward us.

On this day I was a tour guide for a group of Swedes. We had visited the mosque and were on our way to the synagogue. We had passed the initial inspection and come up the stairs when I was stopped with the statement, “You are CPT!”

Many thoughts went through my head, but I could only answer yes.

Then he said, “If you do not have anything on you that mentions CPT, then you are allowed in.”

I said I didn’t and felt like a traitor. My CPT ID and some of our business cards were in my pockets. I went in with the group, but something felt wrong. What if other soldiers would stop and search me?

	portrait of the author with CPT vest, courtesy Västerås Diocesan magazine, Sweden

I was reminded of Peter, “Surely you are one of them....” What thoughts and feelings must have been swirling in his head after Jesus’ arrest – fear, anxiety, chaos...?

The events are beyond comparison in many ways, but they share something common to human experience – the denial, the shame and the wish to just disappear. I was caught between the lie of my denial and the risk of being exposed.

Now the event remains etched in my mind. But the vexation is not mine alone. What danger three little letters communicate – a threat in the eyes of this heavily armed man!

“One friendly word can make the difference.” I truly believe that kindness and compassion can do that. I have hope and evidence that everyone, from world leaders to border patrol officers, wants to make that effort: to lay down weapons, set aside fear and harsh words, and meet each other with a smile.

To liberate love where fear, shame, anxiety and chaos have locked it down is the essence of peacemaking.